








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2993 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2349 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3054 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2226 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,207,298 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2092 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the majestical testicle | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | Juzzblaze | 67% | 52 |
| #3 | Sir Gentle Sire | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | Crye | 62% | 74 |
| #5 | teammate | 54% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Juzzblaze | 67% | 52 |
| #3 | Sir Gentle Sire | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | Crye | 62% | 74 |
| #5 | teammate | 54% | 57 |
| #6 | Scoob | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juzzblaze | 18 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | Scoob | 10 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | Crye | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Sir Gentle Sire | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | teammate | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crye | 125 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Juzzblaze | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | the majestical testicle | 106 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Scoob | 99 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sir Gentle Sire | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swayz | +4.61 | 75 | 46 |
| #2 | Juzzblaze | +3.73 | 78 | 45 |
| #3 | Crye | +3.56 | 84 | 48 |
| #4 | the majestical testicle | +2.86 | 79 | 32 |
| #5 | Scoob | +1.64 | 70 | 60 |





