








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1001 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3047 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3635 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2774 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,702,345 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 943 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swayz | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | quack | 46% | 48 |
| #3 | Mr_moon | 43% | 65 |
| #4 | Sir Gentle Sire | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Squirrely Dan | 30% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swayz | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | quack | 46% | 48 |
| #3 | Mr_moon | 43% | 65 |
| #4 | Sir Gentle Sire | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Squirrely Dan | 30% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quack | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Sir Gentle Sire | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Swayz | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Squirrely Dan | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Mr_moon | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swayz | 192 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | quack | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sir Gentle Sire | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Squirrely Dan | 29 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mr_moon | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swayz | +5.89 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | quack | +3.88 | 70 | 58 |
| #3 | Mr_moon | +0.29 | 67 | 34 |
| #4 | Sir Gentle Sire | +0.17 | 52 | 30 |
| #5 | teammate | -1.55 | 43 | 30 |





