








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2416 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2051 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1514 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1806 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,769 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 430 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0QAQ01 | 92% | 13 |
| #2 | Elk | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | MarKE | 77% | 39 |
| #4 | calamity | 75% | 12 |
| #5 | marie | 72% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dea | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Rikka | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | kam | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | N2o | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | 0QAQ01 | 2 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarKE | 221 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | kam | 179 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | dea | 165 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Marro | 150 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | snav | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dea | +3.48 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | XotiC | +3.08 | 91 | 58 |
| #3 | MarKE | +2.36 | 89 | 67 |
| #4 | The Akron Hammer | +1.66 | 89 | 64 |
| #5 | Marro | +1.59 | 75 | 77 |





