








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 201 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7903 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6695 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4984 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5160 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $916,222 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 835 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sequelah | 59% | 80 |
| #2 | dog que bebe daime | 58% | 103 |
| #3 | Fels | 53% | 150 |
| #4 | SINTOMAS DE GANG | 52% | 232 |
| #5 | ruim e chiliquento | 52% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | digdin | 47% | 45 |
| #11 | bag of mistake | 44% | 149 |
| #12 | jabuTIRO | 39% | 112 |
| #13 | fudido é tu | 38% | 32 |
| #14 | DnTsKaN | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruim e chiliquento | 18 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | bag of mistake | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | SINTOMAS DE GANG | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | jabuTIRO | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | DnTsKaN | 7 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fels | 617 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | bag of mistake | 530 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | ruim e chiliquento | 468 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Mlk piranha | 450 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #5 | SINTOMAS DE GANG | 411 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | art | +2.75 | 66 | 75 |
| #2 | dog que bebe daime | +2.14 | 74 | 54 |
| #3 | Fels | +1.42 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | ruim e chiliquento | +0.66 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | fudido é tu | +0.11 | 71 | 61 |





