








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 412 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1043 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 805 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 722 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,673 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caps Cap | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | Jason Born | 50% | 56 |
| #3 | Capital | 48% | 86 |
| #4 | Snuffle™ | 41% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caps Cap | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | Jason Born | 50% | 56 |
| #3 | Capital | 48% | 86 |
| #4 | Snuffle™ | 41% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capital | 12 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Caps Cap | 9 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Snuffle™ | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Jason Born | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capital | 383 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Snuffle™ | 249 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Caps Cap | 153 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jason Born | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capital | +7.43 | 89 | 74 |
| #2 | Caps Cap | +6.86 | 93 | 77 |
| #3 | Snuffle™ | -2.39 | 54 | 65 |
| #4 | Doink Boink | -2.82 | 58 | 48 |
| #5 | Jason Born | -3.45 | 38 | 44 |





