








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 455 | 19% |
| Smokes | 361 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 736 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 846 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,011 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capital | 54% | 68 |
| #2 | Doink Boink | 50% | 56 |
| #3 | Snuffle™ | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | yATOS | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Caps Cap | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Snuffle™ | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | yATOS | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Caps Cap | 42% | 19 |
| #6 | l3fty | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | TOWELIE | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capital | 13 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Doink Boink | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Caps Cap | 5 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | l3fty | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capital | 339 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | Caps Cap | 131 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #3 | Snuffle™ | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | yATOS | 66 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #5 | Doink Boink | 61 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caps Cap | +6.95 | 91 | 75 |
| #2 | Capital | +5.75 | 89 | 74 |
| #3 | yATOS | +4.63 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | TOWELIE | +0.94 | 90 | 46 |
| #5 | Snuffle™ | -2.15 | 63 | 67 |





