








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 331 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3884 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4476 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2925 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3694 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,466,533 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 414 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaidenbutler.ca | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | Jason Born | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | Capital | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | LazLeoN | 47% | 273 |
| #5 | Doink Boink | 41% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaidenbutler.ca | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | Jason Born | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | Capital | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | LazLeoN | 47% | 273 |
| #5 | Doink Boink | 41% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LazLeoN | 26 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Doink Boink | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Capital | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Jason Born | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Jaidenbutler.ca | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LazLeoN | 1109 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #2 | Capital | 328 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | Doink Boink | 101 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jason Born | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jaidenbutler.ca | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capital | +6.70 | 88 | 75 |
| #2 | LazLeoN | +1.13 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | Jaidenbutler.ca | +0.13 | 75 | 41 |
| #4 | Snuffle™ | -0.91 | 56 | 62 |
| #5 | Jason Born | -2.88 | 39 | 45 |





