








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1180 | 28% |
| Smokes | 307 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1737 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 958 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,376 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Equinox | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Yami Sukehiro | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | sushisan047 | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Լ𝑦ₐ | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Purificatri | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Purificatri | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Metalinux | 39% | 41 |
| #7 | Fenrir | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | RedArch | 30% | 46 |
| #9 | Jav3L | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedArch | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Metalinux | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | sushisan047 | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Jav3L | 2 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | Fenrir | 2 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yami Sukehiro | 78 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | RedArch | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Metalinux | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Equinox | 19 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Purificatri | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Equinox | +3.74 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | Fenrir | +2.55 | 48 | 69 |
| #3 | Salty ? | +2.18 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | Yami Sukehiro | -0.34 | 52 | 61 |
| #5 | Լ𝑦ₐ | -1.32 | 46 | 67 |





