








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 232 matches | ||
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2219 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1799 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3197 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2787 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,905,332 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 984 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Poneto | 46% | 277 |
| #6 | Metalinux | 39% | 72 |
| #7 | Salty ? | 30% | 46 |
| #8 | Krusty | 28% | 43 |
| #9 | Purificatri | 23% | 31 |





