








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 349 matches | ||
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1201 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2329 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3226 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4073 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,389,798 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaSebbel | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | Anna_Krone | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | EzH1893 | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | ventiii.abi | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Waqua | 51% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ventiii.abi | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Waqua | 51% | 61 |
| #6 | Ducky | 50% | 186 |
| #7 | LucaZ | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | (ㆆ_ㆆ) | 39% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ducky | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Waqua | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | (ㆆ_ㆆ) | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | EzH1893 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Anna_Krone | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ducky | 198 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | (ㆆ_ㆆ) | 184 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Waqua | 175 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | LucaZ | 72 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | EzH1893 | 65 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EzH1893 | +3.01 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | Waqua | +2.99 | 80 | 76 |
| #3 | ventiii.abi | +1.42 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | 💊 | +1.21 | 71 | 45 |
| #5 | LucaZ | +0.50 | 75 | 63 |





