








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1990 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2556 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1969 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1695 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,196,687 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Waqua | 54% | 106 |
| #7 | Ducky | 50% | 145 |
| #8 | Anna_Krone | 45% | 203 |
| #9 | カリゴルド (karigorudo) | 42% | 59 |
| #10 | lauriღ | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ducky | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Waqua | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Anna_Krone | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | DaSebbel | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ventiii.abi | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waqua | 283 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ducky | 203 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | DaSebbel | 162 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | ventiii.abi | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Anna_Krone | 77 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EzH1893 | +3.72 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | Waqua | +2.76 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | ventiii.abi | +1.72 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | lauriღ | +1.31 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | LucaZ | +0.70 | 76 | 53 |





