








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1351 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1032 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1625 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 793 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,111 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D1MPLE | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Guswolverine | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Haw0y | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | anal4sale | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | uhhhhhhhhh | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | the BIG Splash | 44% | 41 |
| #11 | Manthis | 44% | 78 |
| #12 | ET7BD | 40% | 15 |
| #13 | GDogg | 38% | 34 |
| #14 | DHOP | 6% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manthis | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | the BIG Splash | 8 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | anal4sale | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | -drox- | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Da Atomic | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manthis | 220 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | the BIG Splash | 101 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | GDogg | 101 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Haw0y | 86 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Da Atomic | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |





