








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 376 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1184 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 650 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 658 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $649,060 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoYo master ⭕⃤ | 63% | 187 |
| #2 | ohpie | 58% | 216 |
| #3 | clog wench | 47% | 88 |
| #4 | YoYoProfessional | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoYo master ⭕⃤ | 63% | 187 |
| #2 | ohpie | 58% | 216 |
| #3 | clog wench | 47% | 88 |
| #4 | YoYoProfessional | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoYo master ⭕⃤ | 22 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | clog wench | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | YoYoProfessional | 7 | 0.0162 |
| #4 | ohpie | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ohpie | 410 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | YoYo master ⭕⃤ | 378 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | clog wench | 203 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | YoYoProfessional | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoYoProfessional | +6.07 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | YoYo master ⭕⃤ | +5.88 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | ohpie | +0.39 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | Lego Frodo Baggins | -0.88 | 32 | 21 |
| #5 | clog wench | -1.85 | 39 | 41 |





