








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 715 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7319 | 50% |
| Smokes | 3545 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2815 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 986 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $866,983 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoYoProfessional | 67% | 58 |
| #2 | YoYo master ⭕⃤ | 57% | 214 |
| #3 | ohpie | 55% | 231 |
| #4 | Lego Frodo Baggins | 47% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoYoProfessional | 67% | 58 |
| #2 | YoYo master ⭕⃤ | 57% | 214 |
| #3 | ohpie | 55% | 231 |
| #4 | Lego Frodo Baggins | 47% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoYo master ⭕⃤ | 30 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | YoYoProfessional | 10 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | ohpie | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Lego Frodo Baggins | 5 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoYo master ⭕⃤ | 479 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | ohpie | 316 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | YoYoProfessional | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lego Frodo Baggins | 20 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoYoProfessional | +6.52 | 68 | 41 |
| #2 | YoYo master ⭕⃤ | +5.83 | 70 | 50 |
| #3 | ohpie | -0.22 | 68 | 47 |
| #4 | clog wench | -1.43 | 34 | 46 |
| #5 | Lego Frodo Baggins | -2.13 | 19 | 14 |





