








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 150 | 21% |
| Smokes | 294 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 210 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 48 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $150,896 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Sins | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Don Glucose | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | Dirtbag | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | PhantomOfTGS | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | fruktoza | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fruktoza | 72 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | PhantomOfTGS | 55 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #3 | Don Glucose | 27 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dirtbag | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bolo | 6 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Sins | +4.90 | 46 | 64 |
| #2 | Don Glucose | +1.12 | 28 | 75 |
| #3 | Dirtbag | -0.59 | 48 | 52 |
| #4 | choks | -0.89 | 33 | 44 |
| #5 | fruktoza | -1.37 | 29 | 69 |





