








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 571 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10402 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5850 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7113 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5556 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,332 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1087 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fruktoza | 48% | 94 |
| #2 | Dirtbag | 47% | 122 |
| #3 | [EXM] Papa_Guzix | 45% | 84 |
| #4 | Don Glucose | 44% | 88 |
| #5 | Talha Aygıtkocaman | 41% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fruktoza | 48% | 94 |
| #2 | Dirtbag | 47% | 122 |
| #3 | [EXM] Papa_Guzix | 45% | 84 |
| #4 | Don Glucose | 44% | 88 |
| #5 | Talha Aygıtkocaman | 41% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [EXM] Papa_Guzix | 29 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | Dirtbag | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | fruktoza | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Don Glucose | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Talha Aygıtkocaman | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fruktoza | 564 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| #2 | [EXM] Papa_Guzix | 329 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Don Glucose | 276 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dirtbag | 204 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Talha Aygıtkocaman | 65 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talha Aygıtkocaman | +3.18 | 69 | 43 |
| #2 | Dirtbag | +1.00 | 49 | 53 |
| #3 | Don Glucose | +0.97 | 32 | 73 |
| #4 | [EXM] Papa_Guzix | +0.04 | 21 | 54 |
| #5 | PhantomOfTGS | -0.24 | 30 | 56 |





