








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 911 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1922 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 832 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 627 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,066 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nan Hao & Shang Feng | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | MuriFlavo | 56% | 131 |
| #3 | zeni | 53% | 133 |
| #4 | monkey in disguise | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | < blank > | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MuriFlavo | 56% | 131 |
| #3 | zeni | 53% | 133 |
| #4 | monkey in disguise | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | < blank > | 47% | 19 |
| #6 | kiro | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 6 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | MuriFlavo | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | zeni | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | monkey in disguise | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | kiro | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeni | 266 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | MuriFlavo | 189 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | monkey in disguise | 62 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | kiro | 38 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | < blank > | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuriFlavo | +1.12 | 56 | 48 |
| #2 | Xx-DeathLord-xX | +1.03 | 52 | 46 |
| #3 | zeni | -0.44 | 31 | 46 |
| #4 | monkey in disguise | -1.77 | 42 | 38 |
| #5 | < blank > | -3.21 | 32 | 42 |





