








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 834 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1159 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1252 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1705 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,962 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nan Hao & Shang Feng | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Xx-DeathLord-xX | 56% | 131 |
| #3 | < blank > | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | zeni | 55% | 187 |
| #5 | monkey in disguise | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nan Hao & Shang Feng | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Xx-DeathLord-xX | 56% | 131 |
| #3 | < blank > | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | zeni | 55% | 187 |
| #5 | monkey in disguise | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 5 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | zeni | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Xx-DeathLord-xX | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Nan Hao & Shang Feng | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | monkey in disguise | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeni | 288 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Xx-DeathLord-xX | 172 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | monkey in disguise | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | < blank > | 27 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nan Hao & Shang Feng | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuriFlavo | +1.78 | 58 | 48 |
| #2 | Xx-DeathLord-xX | +0.32 | 51 | 48 |
| #3 | zeni | -0.24 | 32 | 49 |
| #4 | monkey in disguise | -1.58 | 42 | 39 |
| #5 | < blank > | -1.89 | 35 | 26 |





