








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2682 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2248 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1250 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2542 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,928 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kSee | 52% | 146 |
| #2 | JB | 51% | 198 |
| #3 | Wistiq | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | Dingleberry Handpump | 48% | 212 |
| #5 | Patropro [KSK] | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Patropro [KSK] | 48% | 52 |
| #6 | Hessel | 47% | 38 |
| #7 | NadavCS | 44% | 59 |
| #8 | Ragnor | 43% | 44 |
| #9 | JALLA | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dingleberry Handpump | 62 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | JB | 37 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | kSee | 23 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | NadavCS | 20 | 0.0168 |
| #5 | JALLA | 7 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JB | 502 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | kSee | 213 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | NadavCS | 202 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hessel | 163 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dingleberry Handpump | 111 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JB | +4.01 | 80 | 50 |
| #2 | kSee | +3.15 | 74 | 33 |
| #3 | Hessel | +1.65 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | NadavCS | +0.67 | 58 | 49 |
| #5 | Wistiq | -0.36 | 59 | 59 |





