








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1156 | 28% |
| Smokes | 172 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 1202 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1567 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $657,479 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoddy RANDO | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | SyNc <3 | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | PastorDolph | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | SquirtEEZy | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | AvengingAngel | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿YhebYheb♿ | +5.41 | 84 | 45 |
| #2 | The CUNT | +2.35 | 55 | 63 |
| #3 | SyNc <3 | +0.97 | 68 | 41 |
| #4 | Shoddy RANDO | +0.76 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | SquirtEEZy | +0.73 | 42 | 46 |





