








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 303 | 20% |
| Smokes | 630 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 300 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 299 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,724 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Pixel | 44% | 52 |
| #2 | Paranoid Android | 41% | 64 |
| #3 | StealBack | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | ♛AdicakSK ♛ | 40% | 48 |
| #5 | Stanislaw | 38% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | StealBack | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | ♛AdicakSK ♛ | 40% | 48 |
| #5 | Stanislaw | 38% | 65 |
| #6 | WOD | 18% | 11 |
| #7 | SALI | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paranoid Android | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Stanislaw | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ✪ Pixel | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ♛AdicakSK ♛ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stanislaw | 200 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Paranoid Android | 112 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | ♛AdicakSK ♛ | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪ Pixel | 25 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | WOD | 22 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paranoid Android | +2.57 | 56 | 57 |
| #2 | Stanislaw | +1.06 | 59 | 64 |
| #3 | StealBack | -0.00 | 25 | 42 |
| #4 | ♛AdicakSK ♛ | -0.44 | 33 | 67 |
| #5 | ✪ Pixel | -1.57 | 44 | 40 |





