








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 940 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3604 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 2040 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1608 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $864,835 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Strepo | 48% | 181 |
| #11 | Stanislaw | 48% | 107 |
| #12 | ♣Patuldis♣ | 47% | 108 |
| #13 | Patuz neplaceme.sk | 45% | 124 |
| #14 | Jozefko | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paranoid Android | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Stanislaw | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Patuz neplaceme.sk | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | ♣Patuldis♣ | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Strepo | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stanislaw | 334 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | ♛AdicakSK ♛ | 219 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Paranoid Android | 192 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dexo | 123 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Strepo | 99 | 0.03 | 2 min |





