








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 67 | 8% |
| Smokes | 181 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 325 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 319 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,564 of utility $358 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AFE | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Navis | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | flying power @hofer | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Tinju | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | jutt | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Barrack_Obama | 41% | 51 |
| #7 | Fab | 40% | 58 |
| #8 | White Stevi | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | maxwin | 36% | 14 |
| #10 | Major Francis Monogram | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barrack_Obama | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Fab | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | maxwin | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | AFE | 1 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Navis | 1 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barrack_Obama | 126 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Fab | 108 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | jutt | 82 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | flying power @hofer | 55 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | White Stevi | 27 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barrack_Obama | +3.11 | 45 | 71 |
| #2 | flying power @hofer | +3.10 | 62 | 77 |
| #3 | Major Francis Monogram | +1.84 | 60 | 62 |
| #4 | AFE | +1.47 | 11 | 51 |
| #5 | Navis | +0.87 | 45 | 36 |





