








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3063 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2291 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2209 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1879 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $213,670 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y4zur1 | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | 0ni_**** | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Xefolin™ | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | ojoloco886 | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | Legendario | 57% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legendario | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | garciç | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Mimbre | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Y4zur1 | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Xefolin™ | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garciç | 284 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Legendario | 261 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mimbre | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | ojoloco886 | 151 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Y4zur1 | 77 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ojoloco886 | +2.47 | 70 | 72 |
| #2 | 0ni_**** | +1.96 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Vort-x | +1.70 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | garciç | +1.00 | 75 | 72 |
| #5 | PacoPantanos | +0.96 | 80 | 62 |





