








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 339 | 38% |
| Smokes | 198 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 176 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 190 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,990 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hypervariable | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Block Supervisor | 37% | 54 |
| #3 | Kim-Bong-Chill | 29% | 17 |
| #4 | Mahammed Salahuddin Fahad Rehman | 22% | 27 |
| #5 | Glade (Trading Skins) | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Block Supervisor | 37% | 54 |
| #3 | Kim-Bong-Chill | 29% | 17 |
| #4 | Mahammed Salahuddin Fahad Rehman | 22% | 27 |
| #5 | Glade (Trading Skins) | 14% | 7 |
| #6 | ExecTu | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Block Supervisor | 18 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Mahammed Salahuddin Fahad Rehman | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Kim-Bong-Chill | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Hypervariable | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Block Supervisor | 169 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mahammed Salahuddin Fahad Rehman | 74 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kim-Bong-Chill | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hypervariable | 25 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Glade (Trading Skins) | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hypervariable | +4.40 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Block Supervisor | +2.58 | 82 | 48 |
| #3 | Kim-Bong-Chill | +0.14 | 72 | 30 |
| #4 | ExecTu | -0.64 | 54 | 24 |
| #5 | bzr | -2.18 | 33 | 32 |





