








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 720 | 21% |
| Smokes | 931 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1068 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 643 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $127,654 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | go cry ♿ | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Aljodesign | 52% | 73 |
| #3 | Aljodesign | 43% | 58 |
| #4 | Kirby | 38% | 29 |
| #5 | Hai | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | go cry ♿ | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Aljodesign | 52% | 73 |
| #3 | Aljodesign | 43% | 58 |
| #4 | Kirby | 38% | 29 |
| #5 | Hai | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aljodesign | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Aljodesign | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Kirby | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | go cry ♿ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | go cry ♿ | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Aljodesign | 33 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | Aljodesign | 27 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hai | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kirby | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | go cry ♿ | +1.28 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | Aljodesign | +1.05 | 56 | 32 |
| #3 | Aljodesign | -0.13 | 53 | 31 |
| #4 | skip bo | -0.54 | 69 | 49 |
| #5 | Kirby | -2.29 | 35 | 25 |





