








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 83 | 6% |
| Smokes | 486 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 476 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 319 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $237,199 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aljodesign | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | go cry ♿ | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Aljodesign | 40% | 42 |
| #4 | skip bo | 38% | 29 |
| #5 | rbong obong | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | go cry ♿ | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Aljodesign | 40% | 42 |
| #4 | skip bo | 38% | 29 |
| #5 | rbong obong | 36% | 14 |
| #6 | Hai | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aljodesign | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | skip bo | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | rbong obong | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Aljodesign | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | go cry ♿ | 50 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | skip bo | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | rbong obong | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aljodesign | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hai | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rbong obong | +2.14 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | go cry ♿ | +0.79 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | Aljodesign | +0.66 | 51 | 32 |
| #4 | Aljodesign | +0.61 | 51 | 23 |
| #5 | skip bo | -1.00 | 73 | 51 |





