








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 533 | 25% |
| Smokes | 547 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 491 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 597 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,926 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FURRYLOVER | 45% | 49 |
| #2 | DED | 42% | 26 |
| #3 | NARI | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Hydro | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FURRYLOVER | 45% | 49 |
| #2 | DED | 42% | 26 |
| #3 | NARI | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Hydro | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FURRYLOVER | 13 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | DED | 7 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | NARI | 7 | 0.0281 |
| #4 | Hydro | 2 | 0.0131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FURRYLOVER | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | DED | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Hydro | 29 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | NARI | 20 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | womp womp | +3.36 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | DED | +1.25 | 74 | 46 |
| #3 | FURRYLOVER | -0.60 | 96 | 44 |
| #4 | Hydro | -0.62 | 50 | 58 |
| #5 | NARI | -4.03 | 63 | 43 |





