








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1052 | 27% |
| Smokes | 838 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1226 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 760 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $324,206 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10gag | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | ric0chet | 49% | 150 |
| #3 | CATastrophic | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | mihchina | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Pavball | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10gag | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | ric0chet | 49% | 150 |
| #3 | CATastrophic | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | mihchina | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Pavball | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ric0chet | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | 10gag | 7 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Pavball | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | mihchina | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | CATastrophic | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ric0chet | 334 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | 10gag | 71 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pavball | 66 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | mihchina | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | CATastrophic | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pavball | +5.47 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | ric0chet | +1.88 | 54 | 67 |
| #3 | mihchina | +1.12 | 75 | 50 |
| #4 | Kevin Malone | -0.98 | 34 | 43 |
| #5 | 10gag | -1.37 | 44 | 32 |





