








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 967 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5543 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5387 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5712 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5114 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $975,415 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 972 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mxns7r | 72% | 58 |
| #2 | Pavball | 62% | 122 |
| #3 | mihchina | 57% | 145 |
| #4 | cookieqe | 56% | 132 |
| #5 | CATastrophic | 55% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10gag | 34 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | mihchina | 19 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Kevin Malone | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | cookieqe | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Pavball | 11 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10gag | 363 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pavball | 356 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kevin Malone | 301 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | mihchina | 211 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | mxns7r | 196 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pavball | +5.44 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | mxns7r | +4.03 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | ric0chet | +1.66 | 50 | 66 |
| #4 | mihchina | +1.01 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | cookieqe | +0.36 | 39 | 57 |





