








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 920 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1020 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 975 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 780 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,514 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mxns7r | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | cookieqe | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | ric0chet | 57% | 145 |
| #4 | Pavball | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | 10gag | 55% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ric0chet | 57% | 145 |
| #4 | Pavball | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | 10gag | 55% | 92 |
| #6 | CATastrophic | 55% | 75 |
| #7 | Kevin Malone | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10gag | 16 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | ric0chet | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | CATastrophic | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Pavball | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | cookieqe | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ric0chet | 403 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | 10gag | 195 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pavball | 100 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | mxns7r | 91 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | CATastrophic | 86 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mxns7r | +5.10 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Pavball | +4.42 | 70 | 67 |
| #3 | ric0chet | +2.25 | 48 | 66 |
| #4 | mihchina | +0.99 | 70 | 49 |
| #5 | cookieqe | -0.19 | 34 | 58 |





