








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2611 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2631 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1601 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2206 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,890,215 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wyksi | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Hope | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Ribatti90 | 47% | 89 |
| #4 | Basso | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | Hamtoucher | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EvilStatziUppa | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Ake_Bukk | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Basso | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Ribatti90 | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Danny D | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EvilStatziUppa | 449 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Bitti | 434 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | Basso | 364 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | anzeroo | 316 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ake_Bukk | 233 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hope | +3.88 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | Basso | +2.33 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | Anon | +2.19 | 49 | 56 |
| #4 | Danny D | +2.11 | 25 | 52 |
| #5 | anzeroo | +1.60 | 55 | 66 |





