








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1975 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2518 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 985 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2019 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,227,365 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anzeroo | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | mrslave | 45% | 114 |
| #3 | EvilStatziUppa | 42% | 59 |
| #4 | Anon | 42% | 43 |
| #5 | Chuck Jurris | 41% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Bitti | 37% | 49 |
| #10 | Hamtoucher | 33% | 21 |
| #11 | Ribatti90 | 33% | 27 |
| #12 | Ake_Bukk | 32% | 66 |
| #13 | Wyksi | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrslave | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Anon | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | EvilStatziUppa | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Basso | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Bitti | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrslave | 253 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Bitti | 233 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | EvilStatziUppa | 170 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Basso | 159 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Chuck Jurris | 155 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hope | +1.57 | 69 | 76 |
| #2 | Danny D | +1.45 | 31 | 49 |
| #3 | anzeroo | +1.12 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | Basso | +0.61 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | Anon | +0.58 | 41 | 56 |





