








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3504 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2951 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1927 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3123 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,549,799 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hope | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | libi | 54% | 104 |
| #3 | Wyksi | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | Anon | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | anzeroo | 51% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | mrslave | 45% | 76 |
| #11 | Danny D | 40% | 47 |
| #12 | Bitti | 38% | 71 |
| #13 | Ake_Bukk | 36% | 64 |
| #14 | Hamtoucher | 36% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EvilStatziUppa | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Ribatti90 | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Chuck Jurris | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | libi | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Ake_Bukk | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anzeroo | 448 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | EvilStatziUppa | 430 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | Hope | 349 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ribatti90 | 331 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Bitti | 328 | 0.22 | 8 min |





