










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 489 | 25% |
| Smokes | 511 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 326 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 649 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,082 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThunderdomeXtreme | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Dex™ | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | Jooby {Controller} | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Loki Fire | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThunderdomeXtreme | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Dex™ | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | Jooby {Controller} | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Loki Fire | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThunderdomeXtreme | 5 | 0.0360 |
| #2 | Dex™ | 3 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dex™ | 126 | 0.41 | 2 min |
| #2 | Jooby {Controller} | 78 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Loki Fire | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | ThunderdomeXtreme | 30 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThunderdomeXtreme | +3.15 | 81 | 43 |
| #2 | Kermit | +2.77 | 79 | 49 |
| #3 | Dex™ | +2.04 | 76 | 57 |
| #4 | Loki Fire | +0.46 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | Jooby {Controller} | +0.26 | 61 | 67 |





