








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 636 | 31% |
| Smokes | 760 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 458 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 176 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,216 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mob | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | train conductor | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | bray | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Popstarts ✨ | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Pryce | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | train conductor | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | bray | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Popstarts ✨ | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Pryce | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | durrplants | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pryce | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | train conductor | 35 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Pryce | 32 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | bray | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Popstarts ✨ | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | mob | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pryce | +2.76 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | mob | +2.46 | 77 | 33 |
| #3 | R | +2.13 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | bray | +1.47 | 75 | 48 |
| #5 | Popstarts ✨ | -0.74 | 47 | 28 |





