








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1360 | 36% |
| Smokes | 976 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 776 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 713 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,067 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mob | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | solly | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | mizuki please come back | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Popstarts ✨ | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | Pryce | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fidel | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Hls | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | kasper | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | xf | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | solly | 3 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hls | 148 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pryce | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jager | 102 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Depressing Fire | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | xf | 55 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solly | +4.24 | 68 | 43 |
| #2 | Inner Disciple Peter Edginton | +3.05 | 57 | 57 |
| #3 | Hls | +1.96 | 68 | 52 |
| #4 | mob | +1.08 | 66 | 25 |
| #5 | train conductor | +0.40 | 75 | 51 |





