








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 51 | 33% |
| Smokes | 28 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 53 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 24 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $27,900 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ninja Monkey | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | durrplants | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | solly | 88% | 8 |
| #4 | R | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | Pryce | 71% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pryce | 71% | 14 |
| #6 | mizuki please come back | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | train conductor | 60% | 10 |
| #8 | Popstarts ✨ | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | Robo-Dale | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solly | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | train conductor | 41 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | Pryce | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | R | 20 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | solly | 17 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Popstarts ✨ | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solly | +5.56 | 63 | 58 |
| #2 | Ninja Monkey | +2.47 | 50 | 33 |
| #3 | Popstarts ✨ | +1.96 | 56 | 35 |
| #4 | Pryce | +1.41 | 88 | 68 |
| #5 | train conductor | +1.27 | 82 | 53 |





