










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 593 | 44% |
| Smokes | 282 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 178 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $138,120 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | KrysPKreme | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | failcrab | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | Syan | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Muffin | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | failcrab | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Regen | 2 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | groovin | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Cheeky | 1 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Syan | 1 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diu | 127 | 0.46 | 5 min |
| #2 | Muffin | 56 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #3 | Regen | 52 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #4 | bscc | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | groovin | 36 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +5.30 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | failcrab | +2.51 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | Gor | +2.26 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | Cheeky | +2.19 | 63 | 69 |
| #5 | diu | +1.60 | 64 | 78 |





