








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 552 | 27% |
| Smokes | 445 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 456 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 564 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,117 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | groovin | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Regen | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | jerry | 29% | 17 |
| #7 | KrysPKreme | 20% | 5 |
| #8 | diu | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | failcrab | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | groovin | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Syan | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | jerry | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | diu | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | failcrab | 152 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | diu | 139 | 0.48 | 6 min |
| #3 | jerry | 136 | 0.37 | 4 min |
| #4 | groovin | 95 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Syan | 59 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | failcrab | +3.82 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | Syan | +2.58 | 58 | 67 |
| #3 | groovin | +1.85 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | diu | +1.14 | 67 | 80 |
| #5 | jerry | +0.47 | 31 | 76 |





