








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2051 | 44% |
| Smokes | 681 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 783 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1183 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,321 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0iS0N0uS | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | crow 夜 | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Sinon△ | 62% | 50 |
| #4 | >:( | 55% | 155 |
| #5 | h | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kierz | 46% | 24 |
| #7 | SpawN Jr. | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | Illyasviel von Einzbern | 31% | 16 |
| #9 | ✪ Vern | 29% | 31 |
| #10 | An4rchy | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:( | 33 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Sinon△ | 13 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | Kierz | 11 | 0.0225 |
| #4 | Illyasviel von Einzbern | 5 | 0.0177 |
| #5 | crow 夜 | 4 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:( | 644 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sinon△ | 230 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | SpawN Jr. | 89 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kierz | 67 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ Vern | 56 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpawN Jr. | +4.43 | 83 | 73 |
| #2 | P0iS0N0uS | +4.14 | 87 | 48 |
| #3 | >:( | +2.46 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | Sinon△ | +2.27 | 88 | 59 |
| #5 | Illyasviel von Einzbern | +1.20 | 83 | 14 |





