








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1866 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1344 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1521 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1291 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,451 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | iamJasonLuv | 60% | 20 |
| #8 | ✪ helliox | 58% | 26 |
| #9 | Frixos93 I pvpro.com | 56% | 9 |
| #10 | w4rden | 50% | 6 |
| #11 | Speedy | 49% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ helliox | 7 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Speedy | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Frixos93 I pvpro.com | 3 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | iamJasonLuv | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Не более | 2 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speedy | 182 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | ✪ helliox | 87 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Frixos93 I pvpro.com | 58 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | Не более | 32 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | w4rden | 30 | 0.21 | 1 min |





