








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 933 | 33% |
| Smokes | 677 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 612 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 638 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $164,591 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Cernunn | 50% | 6 |
| #12 | BlacK | 38% | 21 |
| #13 | PIL C | 38% | 8 |
| #14 | Speedy | 38% | 8 |
| #15 | Preclíček | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlacK | 7 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | Speedy | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | PIL C | 1 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | nLg | 1 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Beavis- | 1 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w4rden | 70 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | BlacK | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | crown | 63 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #4 | PIL C | 47 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #5 | flpmstr | 25 | 0.25 | 1 min |





