










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 747 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2695 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1780 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1594 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $836,307 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuardiaN | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | zeke | 58% | 52 |
| #3 | mussmuss | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | dentist | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | Awesomequake | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | mahesh_balle | 47% | 78 |
| #14 | Fraction | 47% | 116 |
| #15 | Nek0 #Opium_Gaming | 45% | 58 |
| #16 | Nek0 | 42% | 26 |
| #17 | BabaYaga-TheBoogeyman | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fraction | 524 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | aSTRO | 443 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Ar1se | 277 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Nek0 #Opium_Gaming | 192 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | HaWk | 186 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuardiaN | +1.76 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | Curi | +1.38 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | HaWk | +1.20 | 89 | 54 |
| #4 | Ar1se | +1.20 | 85 | 68 |
| #5 | Awesomequake | +1.04 | 85 | 12 |





