








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 482 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4581 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1080 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 4157 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1933 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,650,266 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 964 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fraction | 56% | 81 |
| #2 | Ar1se | 54% | 151 |
| #3 | mahesh_balle | 53% | 77 |
| #4 | Nek0 #Opium_Gaming | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | GuardiaN | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | zeke | 46% | 67 |
| #12 | scindrome | 46% | 114 |
| #13 | dentist | 45% | 31 |
| #14 | Awesomequake | 43% | 51 |
| #15 | BabaYaga-TheBoogeyman | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaWk | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Nek0 #Opium_Gaming | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Ar1se | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | not green | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Awesomequake | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ar1se | 414 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Fraction | 384 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | HaWk | 268 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | GuardiaN | 195 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | not green | 168 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuardiaN | +1.83 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | HaWk | +1.78 | 89 | 55 |
| #3 | Awesomequake | +1.77 | 89 | 22 |
| #4 | Ar1se | +1.69 | 85 | 69 |
| #5 | baapMostourizer | +1.01 | 73 | 31 |





