








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Esplay | 79 matches | 1,764 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2517 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5067 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4934 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3490 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,273,018 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1532 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | George | 46% | 108 |
| #8 | hulken86 | 46% | 61 |
| #9 | Troppz | 45% | 60 |
| #10 | galaxY^ | 43% | 125 |
| #11 | ✝ Mohawk ✝ | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Moe Lester | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | hulken86 | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | galaxY^ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Troppz | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | George | 2 | 0.0008 |





