








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1779 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1903 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1582 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1691 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1299 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,781 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ā Bang.wow | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Will2kill | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Fa[i]JaL kH[a]N | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Top1Dog | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ā
ļøSāļøāļøĪ©ļøĪ©ā
⢠| 1 | 0.0028 |





