








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 283 matches | 1,716 | |
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2409 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2130 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1780 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1385 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,703,342 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RS6- | 58% | 97 |
| #2 | Abdullah | 50% | 135 |
| #3 | Giffeln | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | xaxo | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | Berre8891 | 40% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Giffeln | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | xaxo | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | Berre8891 | 40% | 78 |
| #6 | NBA YBツ | 38% | 52 |
| #7 | joost666 | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RS6- | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | NBA YBツ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RS6- | 412 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Abdullah | 266 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | xaxo | 164 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | NBA YBツ | 116 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Berre8891 | 97 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RS6- | +2.35 | 71 | 71 |
| #2 | joost666 | +0.93 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | | +0.40 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | xaxo | +0.19 | 76 | 43 |
| #5 | NBA YBツ | +0.02 | 52 | 56 |





