








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 536 | 27% |
| Smokes | 563 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 490 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 397 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,187 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nylondór | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | dk | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Na9mús | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Buck Angel | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | venn1 | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | g1mp | 20% | 5 |
| #18 | diddmau5 | 20% | 15 |
| #19 | JoFlow10 | 0% | 4 |
| #20 | Hilmar | 0% | 4 |
| #21 | Drekzler | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buck Angel | 1 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smariz | +4.69 | 94 | 53 |
| #2 | Na9mús | +2.07 | 95 | 75 |
| #3 | J1nX | +1.19 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | D4V3 | +1.16 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | nylondór | +1.14 | 37 | 62 |





