








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 419 | 16% |
| Smokes | 864 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 547 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 866 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $280,617 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Curry god | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | mobile player | 47% | 32 |
| #3 | warcrimes in switzerland | 42% | 38 |
| #4 | scrooge mcduck | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | ChimPanzer | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | mobile player | 47% | 32 |
| #3 | warcrimes in switzerland | 42% | 38 |
| #4 | scrooge mcduck | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | ChimPanzer | 39% | 31 |
| #6 | ExplosiveEnd | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExplosiveEnd | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | warcrimes in switzerland | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | mobile player | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | scrooge mcduck | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | ChimPanzer | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scrooge mcduck | 131 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | warcrimes in switzerland | 130 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | mobile player | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Curry god | 63 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | ExplosiveEnd | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExplosiveEnd | +1.66 | 61 | 36 |
| #2 | warcrimes in switzerland | +1.11 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | scrooge mcduck | +0.79 | 64 | 55 |
| #4 | mobile player | +0.61 | 59 | 39 |
| #5 | MONKE | -2.24 | 38 | 47 |





